Saturday, October 13, 2007

The Town Crier....

If I stop you and take your license, then return to your window with a ticket written out for 12 miles per hour over the speed limit, please, PLEASE... don't start crying. I hate it when I write a woman a ticket and she starts bawling uncontrollably.

If you start crying because you think I'm going to feel sorry for you and tear up the ticket, I'm sorry, but you're wrong. You have already taken up time in my day. Now you're taking up more time.

Then, when you finally figure out I'm not going to take it back, don't tell me you hate me. I really don't care. I don't get paid for you to like me.

Then, don't refuse to sign the ticket. Because when I tell you you have a choice of either signing the damned ticket or going to jail, you will probably start crying again. Of course I don't say "damned ticket", but I think it really loudly.

Finally, when all is said and done, I will have won anyway because you will have either signed the ticket or you will be wearing my handcuffs. Oh, and don't even think of complaining about me either, because I have been completely professional and polite to you throughout the stop. I don't have to make you feel like an ass.... you took care of that yourself.

This happens to me roughly once a year. Only 364 days to go 'til the next one. Oh JOY!


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