Saturday, November 3, 2007

Yeah, I Know I Don't Have a License, But......

Every unlicensed driver has an excuse for why they were driving. Boy, have I heard some real doozies.

I have to drive to get to work. Ever heard of public transit? BART, buses, Amtrak, taxis? How about carpooling? Nope, not buying that one. Press hard, three copies. Next!

My friend is sick, and it's her car. Hmm, well ya know, I can tow the car for driving without a license. Wow! The sick friend is mysteriously cured and able to drive. Press hard, three copies. Next!

I'm on my way to the DMV to get my license right now! It's Sunday bright star! Press hard, three copies. Next!

I have a learning permit. Do you have it with you? No. Does your passenger have a license? No. Hmm, then I guess your permit is a moot point, huh? Press hard, three copies. Next!

I'm the designated driver. OH GOODY! Now I get to tow your car, AND arrest your passengers for drunk in public. Press hard, three copies. Next!

I'm just too lazy to go to the DMV and get a license. Nice. Let's work out your wrist muscles Lazy Boy. Press hard, three copies. Next!

I don't believe in driver's licenses. Huh? I refuse to get a license to exercise my right to drive. (Yes, I have actually heard this one.) Guess what Sparky, driving is not a right, it's a PRIVILEGE! Press hard, three copies. Next!

I can't get a license because I'm here illegally. Chances are, your car isn't registered and you don't have insurance either. So when you blow a red light and t-bone the mini van full of kids, who's going to pay for it? The rest of us when our insurance rates go up, that's who. Press hard, three..... no, better yet, put your hands behind your back. Next!

I am taking (blank) to the hospital because (blank). I'm not sure why you didn't just call an ambulance, but slow down and get outta here. Hey, even I'm not that much of a hardass. Next!

I have an Oregon driver's license. Do you live in Oregon? No, I live here. How long? Two years. Going back to Oregon, or here permanently? Not going back. Guess what. You take up residence in California, you need a California license. Oh, and the Oregon plates have to go too. Press hard, three copies. Next!

My license is expired. This is one of the very few I will overlook from time to time, but only if it's just a few weeks expired. If it goes beyond that, see Lazy Boy above. Press hard, three copies. Next!

There have been many more I can't recall today. These are just the few that spring readily to mind. Once again, do I have a low tolerance for unlicensed drivers? Yes, Frank..... yes I do. YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (CSI Miami fans will get that one...)

1 comment:

Me said...

Good for you. As a long-time traffic enforcer with a special fondness for citing/detaining unlicensed drivers myself, I've always got the back of fellow officers who take that violation seriously.