Tuesday, December 18, 2007

It's a MERGE Motherf***er!!!

People around here, and elsewhere I'm sure, do not know how to merge. You know, when the left lane and the right lane come together, and traffic from both lanes combines into one. I figure I should define it here, because obviously some people don't have a friggin' clue.

Anytime there is traffic here, you will see three or four cars run up the side and try to move in at the front of the line. If people would just merge properly, one car from the left and one car from the right, there would be less traffic. It is because of these impatient bastards that traffic is so bad in the first place. It drives me batshit crazy when people insist upon flying up on one side or the other and diving in front of me.

It's like a zipper. One tooth from one side, then one tooth from the other side. You don't see zipper teeth trying to squeeze three in from one side right? That's because zippers are smart and they know it would gum everything up if they tried something ridiculous like that. Drivers around here are not even as smart as zippers. Is that pathetic or what. Looking at some of these morons makes me wonder if they even know how to WORK a zipper. Do they run around all day with their barn door hanging open?

I must assume people take their driving tests the way they take other tests. They remember the stuff long enough to take the test and get their license, then forget it. I tell them they can't do whatever they did and they reply "I didn't know I couldn't do that". You did take a test to get your license right? You didn't somehow slip through the cracks? Well, I suppose you must've just forgotten huh?

Crappy drivers annoy me. Have you noticed?


Officer Wright said...

You and me both, great zipper analogy too.

It's been raining here today, and for some reason, people think the freeways are sunny and dry and completely open to them only. I hate driving on days like this.

USAincognito said...

Like the zipper analogy. You hit it dead on the nail.