Wednesday, April 9, 2008

The State of the City...

Ooops, I just noticed it's been over a week since I have posted anything. I'll just say I've been a little preoccupied over the past week and a half, and the rest of this week, but here's something at least.

It seems that the people in and around my city feel the need to install forty zillion terawatt sound systems in their vehicles, only to drive around with their hand on the volume knob just in case they see a cop car. You can hear these goddamned things from a quarter mile away. Sometimes I wonder if the people driving these rolling heaps of shit can hear me yelling at them from a quarter of a foot away.

It's really easy to figure out which vehicle the noise is from too. All you have to do is look past the normal looking vehicles, and find the blinged out Lexus, Escalade or Navigator with the blacked out windows, the 24 inch spinners and the chrome EVERYTHING. Also, the driver's seat will normally be reclined ALL THE WAY BACK, and the driver can often be seen supporting him or herself by one hand draped casually over the top of the steering wheel (I have never tried driving from the back seat, and I don't plan to any time soon).

If you need probable cause to stop this vehicle, other than the loud music, just look for the inevitable seatbelt violation or the marijuana smoke emanating from the interior of the vehicle (there's something I wouldn't write in a report!).

I have never had a need for anything louder than my piddly ass stock sound system in my vehicles. I can't even stand to turn the volume up beyond half. Why is it then, that those folks feel the need to put amps in their vehicles that draw enough power to light a small city for a day? Why do they put subwoofers in the car that register on the Richter Scale?

When I stop these drivers, they can never answer these questions. They must just think it's incredibly cool to roll around with bass powerful enough to rattle the windows of buildings in Arizona. Even when I tell them most people don't want to hear about "slappin' yo babymama", "poppin' a cap in that nigga'z ass", or "bustin' a nut up in that beotch", they still seem not to understand. Or maybe they just don't care.

I get so friggin' sick of these idiots. Then when they park to go into the 7 Eleven to get their Swisher Sweets so they can pack their blunts, they insist upon leaving the car running and the stereo cranked, presumably so they can still enjoy their "music" while they are in the store.

And watching them walk into the store with their pants sagging down around their knees is quite humorous. I'm not entirely sure if the idea is to look stupid so people don't realize how intelligent they really are, or to look as stupid as they really are. All I know is I don't dress my kids like clowns.

This is all yet another reason I don't live where i work. It's somewhat better on this side of the hills, but we still get it here too.

I need to get the hell out of this area. After 33 years of this shit, I've had it.

Now, if y'all'll excuse me, I've some Wagner to rock out to. See ya.


TheBronze said...

I like it when they wear their baggies, so they trip when they run from you.

Silly mopes...

USAincognito said...

My other pet peeve (well, okay, i have more than just 1 or 2 of them!) is stupid kids like the ones you just described. I get so pissed off when I hear the boom, boom, boom of their stereo systems, see them dressing all ghetto-style, and disrespecting authority (especially those in uniform!). Makes me want to drill a hole in their skull and snap that connecting cord between both brain hemispheres.

I mean seriously...who do they think they are trying to impress? Because last I checked, when you get to be an adult, that is so NOT cool to still be doing all that crap.

Our city actually has a noise ordinance and a nice hefty fine to go along with any violations of that ordinace. But still we have those who insist on losing their hearing at a young age and insist on pimping their ride to make themselves an easy target for LE officers to hone in on them.

Mrs. "Smith" said...

usa: the city I grew up in has a noise ordinance, too. Only it was treated as a joke by the former chief and command staff for so long that trying to enforce it now has the new chief catching flack from the "people" who live in the city , as well as the cops themselves bitching about having to enforce it. (And the city wonders why they're having a hard time filling positions on the force!) I heard one of them saying, and I quote, "De jus kds...let em have de fun". With the "parenting" I see going on, I don't expect much to change. All I know is that if MY kids pull that crap, they won't have a stereo to listen to. I either rip theirs out, or take my face plate away.

Berserk said...

Crank dat classical shiznit!

kvegas911 said...

Yeah, but it's funny as hell when they're on the ground bare-assed because their pants fell down upon being detained. Funnier still when you think of the injuries that must be sustained on the side that has been er, helped to the ground since the pants are now around their knees. I just get giggly thinking of it.

Mr. Police Man said...

VC 27007. My favorite section. I'm tired of everyone!

TheBronze said...

27007...oh yeah!

Funny story: I did an unintentional "man-pit" of a young lad when I worked near Ofc. Smith, and the way he landed (after I backed the car off of him), I thought I'd broken both of legs!

Luckily, he was wearing the oversized-baggy jeans, but they were kind of stiff, so even though his jeans were straight, his feet were at an odd angle. Thank God for those jeans! Luckily he was un-injured. WHEW!!!!

Recovered a loaded Glock from his front-right pocket too! He said that he found it under (the Glock) tree in Richmond. I think that's next to (the Raven) tree...

Kojak said...

Hey, what I don't understand is why do they normally where a size 32, but buy a size 42 then have to hold them up with one hand while they walk. It's been great for me though, I can finally catch them since I am old now...Great Post.. Be Safe, glad your back. I asked Mrs. Smith if you were ok..

Officer "Smith" said...

Oh yeah. I'm back with a vengeance!

I've been off learning yet more things to cite people for. Gotta' love it!

Tonya said...

I don't know where you work -- but you are describing a good deal of the the cars where I live - Oakland!

Peeve: They also can't be bothered to turn it off when they are getting gas. I'm a captive audience there and I just don't want to hear it. And it's not just the rap or hip hop listeners, either. Everyone seems to think that if they enjoy AC/DC or Smashing Pumpkins, or whatever.. that everyone else must want to hear it too.

Peeve: I live on a short, narrow street. There is some joker who picks up his girlfriend on my block and no matter what time he rolls up (6am, 4pm, 2am, 5am, doesn't matter), he's blasting his music so loud that it rattles my windows. It wakes me up and my bedroom is the back of the house. No use reporting it, he'd be gone by the time OPD got here because mostly he just comes and goes in a matter of minutes and 'sides, they have bigger things to worry about. I can just hear the (non-emergency) dispatcher now, "This is Oakland, ma'am, you are calling about... what?"

Early one Sunday morning a few months ago he was out in the street for 15 minutes.. blasting the whole time. Sunday morning. 8am. My windows were shaking with each BOOM da BOOM BOOM and I hadn't even had coffee yet. Can you say "RUDE" boys and girls? I knew you could.

I finally went out and asked him very nicely to turn it down because it was disturbing the whole neighborhood. His response? "Who the F##K are you, lady? Mind yo' own damn bidness." Yeah, well, I'd be cheerfully minding my own if YOUR business wasn't in my living room. At 8am. On Sunday.

I often fantasize about taking his car and sending it off a short pier. With him in the trunk. Kidding. Well, about the trunk part. Maybe. :)

TheBronze said...

Tanya, you definitely need to GTFO Oaktown!

Unless you live in The Hills, there's no way in hell I'd live on Oaktown!

makeumdothechicken said...

They finally got tired of this where I work and we impound the vehicle for this offense now.

First offense= Vehicle towed with a 24 hour hold + $250 fine.

Second offense= Vehicle towed with 48 hour hold + $500 fine.

Third offense= Vehicle towed with 72 hour hold + $1000 fine.

Fourth offense= Vehicle towed and held for possible seizure + $2000 fine.

Now, if they only had to pay the fine before they got the vehicle back they would all be walking.It is priceless when you tell them that their vehicle is being towed. I love making pedestrians out of these schmucks. The inventory search prior to towing as often as not leads to additional charges. It's a beautiful law that we don't mind enforcing.

justusforall said...

"the driver's seat will normally be reclined ALL THE WAY BACK, and the driver can often be seen supporting him or herself by one hand draped casually over the top of the steering wheel (I have never tried driving from the back seat, and I don't plan to any time soon)."
LOL. Isn't that how Dale Earnhardt Jr. drives? He's pretty hip, in with the young crowd...
I never understood the massive subwoofers powered by external car batteries thing myself either. Once you crank up the bass enough, it doesn't even sound like music anymore, it's just tuneless rattling and thumping.
Which reminds me, I heard they invented a new form of police siren that actually directs sound waves at cars to get people to move out of the way. If that ever becomes standard issue, it'll be like the police are copying the gangstas. Ironic, no? Then you could be the one rattling their suv's instead of the other way around. You could have some fun with that... "See how you like it? Doesn't feel good, does it? Now you know how I feel!"

Officer "Smith" said...

I think the funniest part is that they think it is so cool to have their license plate rattling on the back of the car. As if the $400 car with the $4000 sound system and $4000 worth of wheels isn't stupid enough, they want to show just how much of a rattle trap the car is.

When I was away I noticed a conspicuous absence of these types of characters.

Mrs. "Smith" said...

Honey, get the shotgun!!! The troll is back!

justusforall said...

"Troll? Shotgun? How dare you threaten me with violence! This just proves that people can't be trusted with guns!"
Liberal pulls his gun and tells Conservatives to disarm.
Conservatives pull THEIR guns.
"We'll die before we let you disarm us!"
Liberal raises his hands to the sky.
"Whoa! Let's just... talk then."

Officer "Smith" said...

How do you know she was talking about you justus? ;-)

Anywho, like I always say, they can try to take my guns, but they're gonna get the bullets first.