Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Dogs and Pepper Spray...

A comment left over on Telebush's blog reminded me of another reason I hate pepper spray.

I was dispatched to a park in our city regarding a woman hollering for help. Supposedly the woman was telling the caller that she and her dog were cornered by a wild animal. So I, and of course the rest of the team, go into the park to find the problem.

Knowing what we know about the wildlife in our area, two officers went in armed with shotguns. We could hear the woman hollering from a few hundred yards out, and it wasn't difficult to find her. When we did locate her, she was bent over and looking into some bushes, calling for her dog.

A creek runs through the middle of the park. The creek bed was long ago concreted to abate erosion, and when this was done several small waterfalls were created. Why they did this is beyond me because the creek only flows during shitty weather when there's nobody in the park to enjoy the waterfalls, but such is government. The con-creek has since been overgrown by many large and thorny bushes.

Anywho, we shined our lights into the bush where the woman was looking, and there was her dog's ass, tail wagging furiously, and looking over the dogs ass was the most freaked out set of masked raccoon eyes I have ever seen. The dog had the raccoon cornered in one of the little concrete waterfalls.

Every time the raccoon would try to climb up the waterfall, the dog would sink his teeth into the coon's hind quarters and drag him back down. The coon would then turn around and hiss and growl at the dog. And so went the standoff.

Now, this wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for one thing. The dog and the coon were back in the aforementioned tangle of thorny bushes. About twenty feet back. And the only way to get this dog and the poor coon out was to go in and get them.

Why's everybody looking at me?

Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention I was just freshly out of FTO. I think I had been on my own for about a month.

Well, being the rookie, I knew who would be climbing into the bushes.

After much cussing and grumbling, I somehow managed to claw my way back into the tangled mass of brambles to get within about eight feet of the coon / dog stalemate. I absolutely could not get any closer.

Out came the pepper spray.

I figured if I could just get a bit on the dog's face he would back off and the coon could escape. I cut loose with a quick squirt, but my aim was a little off. I squirted the dog right on his ass. Totally ineffective.

Second shot was much better and got both the dog and the coon square on their noses. This was not difficult since their noses were only about three inches apart, but hey, it sounds good anyway.

By now the dog is mildly irritated, but still focused completely on the coon. What in Hell do I do now? What else can I do? I empty the can. I proceeded to spray a steady stream and walk it in like tracers, right up the dog's back and onto his face. After that,the pooch realized I was serious dammit.

Well, okay. He finally realized I was even there.

So, poor pup starts to feel the effects of the OC and backs up from the coon. Coon seizes the opportunity and bails over the top of the falls and into oblivion. Success!

Dog is cowering in the little cave at the base of the falls, pawing at his nose. Finally, the pain got to him and he did what any good dog would do with a snoot full of pepper spray. He ran.

Now, you may remember that the only way in was the way I came in. Following such logic one might conclude that the only way out would be the same route. One would be correct.

The dog ran full bore, straight at me. Now, he wasn't a big dog, so I wasn't too worried. But, as he ran past me he repaid me for my kindness.

The little bastard shook himself like a dog coming out of a lake. Only problem was the pepper spray covering his back.

I got a good face full.

Thanks Rover.

I hate pepper spray.

Glad I have seniority. Next time it won't be me going in there.


Mrs. "Smith" said...

Lol!! Ah, the memories...

USAincognito said...

I am laughing so hard!!! Only because pepper spray has no affect on me. lol!! ;)
I remember when I had to go thru OC training my FTO was so pissed at me. He sprayed me 5 times in the face with the stuff and I just inhaled deeply and said, "ahhh, smells like roses! do it again!" I don't think he liked that very much. hehe!

Mrs. "Smith" said...

LOL!!!! You're a weirdo!!! ;)

Angie said...

That is too funny! It sucks..but it really is funny!

Berserk said...

Damn, USA. I'm jealous.

TheBronze said...

OC is good (in most cases), but almost always it seems like whenever its administered, the administer will get at lest SOME residual as well.

Officer "Smith" said...

The way I figure it, I'd rather get Tased again than pepper sprayed again. Therefore, I would probably Tase someone before I would pepper spray them.

Lyfers said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lyfers said...

sorry comp had a spasm on the 1st attempt at leaving a comment...

Oh how awful!!! You have my sympathies. But I must admit I am currently doubled over with laughter hehe.

I was in a similar situation...just replace the pepper spray with a hose and 'coon with a skunk, and add another dog...all on their last potty break before I left on a road trip.

Gotta love the furballs.

Thank god for seniority now!!

*Goddess* said...

Sometimes pepper spray can be a good thing.....

As in the case of the idiot who pepper sprayed HIMSELF during a failed robbery;)