Monday, June 16, 2008

Is it Just a Fluke?

If any of my co-workers read this and haven't figured out it's me, this one will give it away.

If I am working the same shift as you, and I have been given the choice of beats, do not come in and say you want to work the beat I have chosen. Bad shit will happen.

One night, I was asked which beat I wanted. I said I'd take the hill. Just after I said that, the sergeant realized another officer was slightly senior to me, and asked him what beat he wanted. He said he wanted the hill, so I took a cover beat.

About two hours later, the officer who took the hill beat was up to his eyeballs in the worst fake rape case I have ever heard. He was cussing me up one side and down the other because he took the hill beat from me. I thought it was a fluke, but I later proved myself wrong.

Some time later, I was again in line up and was asked which beat I wanted. I said I'd like the north end. A few minutes later another officer, again slightly senior to me, came in late and complained that he wanted the north end. I told him jokingly that it was going to be a long night for him if he took the beat I had selected,but being the flexible person I am, I said fine, I'll take the south end.

Sure enough, three hours later there was a robbery / homicide on the north end of town. I realized then that it's really not a good idea for someone else to take a beat I've already chosen.

I think everyone else has too, because there have been several times since then that officers have come in and said "Smith's got the north end? Shit, I guess I'll take the hill."

I'm not cursed...I swear!


Me said...

Sometimes it goes the other way. My last station, I had a co-worker who was a nice guy, but a ROD (Retired On Duty). He didn't do jack, and that was fine for him and everyone else. He'd been on so long that everyone just left him alone. And he kept to his preferred beat down on the slow south end where nothing--absolutely nothing--ever happened. He and that beat were made for each other.
Well one day, a new station commander switched him and me one Saturday. I wanted to know why, and the commander told me that he wanted to give "ROD" a little more work to do. Besides, he told me, "you work hard every day. Just take today easy."

So what happens on that peacful, quiet Saturday--the only one in anyone's memory when anyone other than our hero ROD isn't working down there? A damned TOUR BUS loaded with 54 TEENAGERS from OUT OF STATE crashes into a bridge. And guess who got stuck working it? That's right...freaking ME. You ever do an accident report on a whole bus with 54 injured juveniles whose parents were 400 miles away?

As for ROD, he had a nice, quiet day up on my beat, doing absolutely nothing.

Berserk said...

Crash like that, I'm calling in a traffic car. Of course, I'll still probably have my hands full even after they show up.

Smith: you guys bid your beat every night? That actually sounds kinda cool, we bid our areas for an entire year right after we bid our shifts.

TheBronze said...

Be careful what you wish for...

USAincognito said...

LOL!!! That is too funny! I bet those other officers are wanting nothing to do with taking away your choice of beats anymore! hehe!!

Jay said...

That's incredible. I only have one question. What numbers do you like for the Lotto or shouldn't I ask?

Kojak said...

Hey bro. I need you to come to Florida I need some voo doo magic for a future ex!!! Hahahahah. That's good stuff. Be Safe !

For The People said...

Sounds like the beat of choice is just right for you.