Monday, August 11, 2008

Hot on Your Heels...

The Mrs. and I have found an annoying trend in public places lately.

I can be walking along at the mall, in Target, at an amusement park, nearly any public place, just minding my own business, when all of a sudden...


A kid whizzes by at the speed of light less than a foot in front of me, nearly causing me to spit out whatever I may have been drinking.

It's like watching a stop motion movie because while the kid is moving quickly, his or her legs are not moving at all. How can this be?


Heelys, for those who are not familiar with the phenomenon, are shoes with a wheel built into the sole. They look like normal shoes, but if the kid raises their toe up they can roll along like they're on roller skates.

I hate Heelys.

With a passion.

I can not tell you how many times I have been cut off, run into or otherwise annoyed to no end by kids wearing these stupid things. But the kids are not the whole problem. The parents are a big part of the problem.

Parents buy these shoes for their kids, then they don't have balls enough to tell the kid to take the stupid wheels out of them while they're in the mall. The kids will wheel their way through a crowd of people without a second thought.

And don't dare say anything to them about it either. I assure you the kid will look at you like you're crazy. The parents will stand by sheepishly, if they don't get uptight because you're telling their kid off.

One of these days I won't be able to help myself.

What? My foot was there already. Didn't you see it before you tripped on it?


TK the Buckeye nut! said...

My husband works for the blue box store from Hell. On more than one occasion he would be pushing a pallet jack and these kids in those stupid things would about get run over because they weren't paying attention. And of course they shoot HIM the dirty look because he didn't see around the stack of pallets, nearly as tall as he is (6ft 4in), on the pallet jack and stop the forward motion of it (nevermind it weighs a couple hundred pounds and add to it the momentum, ect)just because they were in the same planet and might possibly dart in front of said multiple pound pallet jack!

Another irritation is when I see these kids rolling along holding onto their grandparent's power chair, or they are holding onto the cart while their mother pulls the cart from the front.

Oh yeah, not sure I've ever posted a comment. Love your blog! :) Don't remember how I found ya!

Me said...

I miss when smoking was allowed in malls. I don't smoke, but malls had ashtrays then and those ashtrays had that fine gravel in them that would be perfect for stopping the wheels on heely skates.

Makes me want to go find some of that stuff and start carrying a bag of it in my pocket when I go to a mall or other place where these urchins act the fool. Hear the wheels, throw the rocks down. Problem solved.

Evil Lunch Lady said...

I didn't think those things were still "in". The person who invented them should be dragged into the street and shot:)

USAincognito said...

I hate those things with a passion, too. And I have not kept my mouth shut about it either in public. I have also glared and scowled and scolded a dozen little kids while in Walmart who decide they can just crash into anyone using those things. Their parents then get mad at me but then I give them a piece of my mind about how irresponsible they are as parents and they tend to shut up and move on. Those heeleys are #1 on my pet peeves list for what NOT to do in public!!! grrrrr

Mrs. "Smith" said...

"Me", I love your idea! I've got some fishtank gravel I'm going to carry in my purse now. Bwahahahaha!

Officer "Smith" said...

I was just going to say fish gravel, but of course you beat me to it!

Officer "Smith" said...

Thanks TK. I don't think you've ever posted a comment, but it's nice to have you here anyhow. Post more comments!!

TK the Buckeye nut! said...

Thanks for the welcome! :)

Berserk said...

I'm gonna have to get some wheels put into my patrol boots now! if they don't already see plenty of me at the workman's comp clinic.

Officer "Smith" said...

Yeah, well... they do come in adult sizes now. The little hole in the bottom is the perfect place to hide dope.

Tonya said...

Since I'm not with the majority opinion here, I know this won't be the most popular comment. Please take this in the gentle, playful manner in which is it intended.

You are ALL old curmudgeons, that's what I think. ::tease::

Look, when skateboards came around, adults hated them too. And before that there was something that the adults hated.

Eh, let the kids have their fun, I say. Okay, so a little bump happens here or there. No biggie. Personally, I love to see the kids rolling around, having fun, being KIDS.

Agreed, they shouldn't be rude about it and they should be careful when around other people, but I personally haven't seen them crash into anyone or anything.

The next thing you know, you are all going like 80 years old, standing on your front porches yelling, "Get off my lawn, ya hooligans!" :)

Officer "Smith" said...

Well Tonya, the thing about that is the kids don't ride their roller blades and skateboards inside the mall or inside the stores. Most of those little hooligans have enough sense to keep the riding outside.

Granted, they tear the hell out of any solid surface on which they can "grind", but that's a whole 'nother post right there.