Thursday, August 7, 2008

No... Really...I'm Code 4...

I'm sure every department has one. An officer you simply don't want anywhere near you out of fear that he will either get you killed, or get himself killed in such a way that you will not be able to explain how it wasn't our fault.

There's always one.

The officer who consistently goes to the wrong address, even though the correct address is right there on the computer screen in his car. The officer who still can't seem to park a patrol car in a single parking stall. The officer who doesn't answer up when dispatch tries to raise him on the radio. Then when everyone starts looking for him he mysteriously pops up with "radio trouble".

You know who I'm talking about.

The officer who, instead of taking the forgery report holding on his beat, will find a car to stop so he can milk it until the end of his shift to avoid the really important call. The officer who can't find his way from one block to the next without a map or GPS. The officer who talks a big game, but can't perform when the need arises.

If you stop a car and that particular officer answers up for the cover, you say you're Code 4 even if the car is four deep with hooligans... then you promptly get on your cell phone and call another officer to cover you.

The officer you don't want on ANY call that involves the remotest possibility that you're going to have to calm someone down, because the officer will invariably get your subject wound UP instead. The officer who doesn't seem to understand the concept of contact and cover, and always tries to take over as the contact officer thereby fucking up all the progress you've made over the past twenty minutes before his arrival.

The officer who refuses to listen to you because he's been a cop for a whole year longer than you, even though you really do know what you're talking about. The cop who then won't listen to a twenty year veteran because he just had the same conversation with you and knows he's right, even though he's wrong.

The cop who regularly makes every other cop he works with wonder just how, exactly, he passed field training and probation.

Simply speaking this officer's name can send certain other officers in your department ballistic.

I'm not going to mention any names, but EVERY department has at least one.

Everyone knows that guy. You really don't want to be that guy. I'm really glad I'm not that guy.

12 comments:

fuzzys dad said...

I know of a Correctional Officer at the facility where I worked that way. The when the feces hit the rotary oscilator. He hid in a broom closet.Claiming he got pushed in there.

kvegas911 said...

Loose cannons, they are. IA's waiting to happen.

RoaVaPD said...

We have one. Just recently got rescued from a butt kicking to stand there and watch the rescuing officers finish subduing and handcuffing the perp for them. Every agency has one.

5150Wife said...

Ahh, yes. Even lil' ol' Mayberry has one of their very own. I call him Officer Dude. Which reminds me, I had something about him I've been meaning to post. Thanks for the reminder. lol

TheBronze said...

We've all seen cops that actually run when a fight starts, even though they always talk all bad. WTF!

Why are you a cop!

I guess there's always that "10%" in every organization.

Me said...

I'm thinking of three that I know.

They never wanted to do police work. They just want the high-paying job and the badge and gun that comes with it. But they suck at everything they do and they're about as welcome as a case of the clap on any scene that anyone else is working. And thanks to civil service and the union, they can't be fired or transferred to a non-contact assignment no matter how many other people think that it makes sense.

Berserk said...

I once got an attaboy in my file for handling a homicide arrest appropriately even though that officer was running around the scene like a headless chicken while screaming nonsense at the top of his lungs. That officer hasn't spoken to me since.

Liz said...

You really have a way of summing up all these universal LE truths. As I read your post I knew exactly who you were talking about. Thankfully, the one I know works at the park I was just detailed at. I work by myself now, so really, there's no one to blame for anything but me!

USAincognito said...

So, you have one of those, too?!? I roll my eyes when I look at the roster and see I am scheduled to work with that officer in my area. And by the end of my shift, I just want to pull my hair out.

Angie said...

We apparently know the same people :-)

Officer "Smith" said...

Sometimes I wonder if they're not all related.

Area Trace No Search said...

And of course, if you don't know this person... then it must be YOU!

;-)