Monday, February 9, 2009

The Great Race Game...

I stopped a woman for jaywalking last week (by now that should surprise nobody), who happened to be black.

At first she was sweet and nice and polite, until she realized I was going to write her a ticket. Then she became the wicked bitch of the west.

She tried damned near everything to get me not to write the ticket, then she resorted to my absolute least favorite tactic.

"You only out here writing tickets to black people. That's harassment. I'm gonna complain to the NAACP about y'all".

Those who know me, know that I don't take well to people accusing me of racism. I handled this one somewhat differently than usual though. I said "Really? Do you think so? Well, just let me get you some evidence of my racist harassment."

I pulled my stack of citations out of my cite book. I still had the two previous days' cites in there, so she had a rather shocked look when I broke out with forty-five tickets. I started flipping through them one at a time, reading off the race of the person who was cited.

"Black. Black. Uh-oh. This really doesn't look good for me does it? White. Hispanic. Hispanic. Asian. White. Other. White. White. White. Hispanic. Black. White. White. Other. Other." and so on. When I got to the end and had only counted off six blacks out of forty-five cites, she decided it was not in her best interest to continue bitching.

Press hard, you are making three copies...


Leslie said...

Bitch. I HATE it when people cry "race" when they are getting busted. Smart idea, though, to pull out your ticket book and recite the previous day's tickets.

*Goddess* said...

Aww, come on. If they don't use the race card, they'll have to take responsibility for their actions, and no one should have to do that!

Fire Fox said...

Hey, where is my WHITE card?

Easily Lost said...

Only 6 out of 45? Sounds more to me like you are targeting the poor white, hispanic, and other folks. (kidding :P )
(just what exactly is an "other"?

TheBronze said...

You racist cops are all alike!

Say, how's that "White Police Officers Association" coming along anyway?

Officer "Smith" said...


Our computer system is... antiquated, to say the least. As a result, we have five acceptable entries for the race box. White, Black, Hispanic, Asian or Other.


It has actually changed a bit, into an Italian POA. We're going to call it the "White-Italian Officers of Police". That's WOP for those who couldn't see it coming. I'm a large part Italian, so I can get away with saying that.

TheBronze said...

Hey, wouldn't that be WIOP?

You could change it around and make it WIPO!

I've always thought it awesome that it's perfectly acceptable to have a BPOA, a HPOA, a APOA or a FPOA (Female POA) but if you try to get a WPOA going, you're RAAAAAACIST!

Officer "Smith" said...

Nope. That's why it's hyphenated, so it's just WOP.