Tuesday, February 3, 2009

You're an Asshole...

Yes, you. The moron driving the brown Volvo XC-90 on Bear Creek Road about twenty after five this evening. I'm the guy who tried to pass you.

But you resisted.

You must truly hate motorcyclists. As such, you apparently hate me, even though you have no idea who I am.

When the double yellow line in the center of the roadway becomes a broken yellow line, that denotes a passing zone. It therefore becomes legal for me to pass you.

And believe me, after following you for three miles at between five and fifteen miles per hour under the speed limit while you couldn't hold a steady speed and refused to move over a little so I could squeeze by you, I really, REALLY wanted to get past you.

When the passing zone arrived, I tried to pass you. I know you saw me, because you sped up when I got beside you. When I sped up a bit to continue my pass, you sped up to keep pace with me. Let me tell you, asshole, that it is not fun to ride at 65 miles per hour on the wrong side of the road because some shit heel doesn't like motorcycles. I am not interested in drag racing on a motorcycle.

You should feel fortunate that it was me you were screwing with, because if it had been one of the hot tempered Yeehaws who regularly ride those back roads, you would likely have gotten a spark plug or a bolt thrown through your window.

Luckily for you, I am not such a Yeehaw.

Perhaps when I finally did manage to get by you, I should have refrained from launching a certain single fingered gesture in your direction. I am sure this has only reinforced your hatred of motorcyclists and will likely result in a repeat of this incident with someone else. My bad.

Because of you, I intend to procure a number of these:



Next time we meet, expect to find one of these attached to your hood (if you're lucky) or your forehead (if you're not so lucky).

For you have tried my patience and, as I have said somewhere previously,

You, Sir.... are an ASSHOLE!

13 comments:

Hogday said...

Hi again Officer Smith. As a biker of very many years I can identify with your last. Over here over the years I have had the usual motorist detritus come flying back at me in the slipstream,e.g. glowing cigarette ends, sweet(candy)wrappers, part eaten hot dogs, pens and my special favourite, a mouthful of spit. I concur with your comment re someone, one day, doing this to `the wrong guy`. Maybe we should invest in a back patch that I saw once and rather liked; "Honk If You've Never Seen A Gun Fired From A Moving Harley".
Just off on a 50 mile round trip, on my motorcycle, in mid winter, to visit the dentist. I pray no one pisses me off on THIS journey ;)

Hogday said...

PS: As a fellow biker you may find this site of interest. I've been a member for years. Ride safe.

http://www.mag-uk.org/index.html

Kojak said...

Ohhh you could not have said it better!!!! I ride my bike everyday now since I retired and have no police car. It amazes me how some folks get their license!

10-8 said...

Mom says I can't have a motor cycle because they are dangerous.

fuzzys dad said...

A real idiot.

Hogday said...

Hey 10-8, I didn't know motorcycles were dangerous "and could result in death or serious injury", until I read the Harley Davidson owners manual!!! All those years on Brit and Jap bikes and I'd no idea how much at risk I was from changing a headlight bulb all on my own. LOL

OldCop said...

Believe That, I got tore up so bad I gave up riding

Leslie said...

What an asshole!!! And not to mention very dangerous of him to be doing that!! If only he knew you were a cop......

The Dispatcher and Her Officer said...

Wait.. was there a cell phone involved?

It amazes me how many id10t's we have on the roadway! Amazes me even more how many of them don't have valid licenses to drive on the road!!!!
-Dispatcher

Jay said...

What an idiot. That guy has problems. Someone could end up dead n the road because of him. As for giving him the finger I always thought that if your bike was unable to give the appropriate indication then you had to resort to hand signals.

Officer "Smith" said...

Yeah, well, I'm still trying to figure out how to make my bike able to give that particular signal...

Austin said...

I like the whole yellow card thing (well, I'm also a soccer ref)

There are plenty of motorists who deserve the YC (soccer-ref shorthand for "yellow card") and even though I don't ride a motorcycle for medical reasons, I think I should carry an arsenal of those cards. Do they make them for car drivers as well, because idiots on the road are a danger to us all.

Kalin said...

I wanted to get some of those magnets made for use when I ride, but was told by a LEO that they are illegal. It seemed to be their contention that placing a magnet on someone else's car was vandalism. I'm in Sacramento, CA.

Did I get bad information? I can't imagine you recommending an illegal act.

Thanks for the great blog!