Thursday, March 12, 2009

On Liars and Big Red Buttons...

This is a Mobile Data Computer. We call them MDC's.

See that big red button on the front?

That's the 11-99 button. If I push that button, it makes a big, red, urgently flashing message pop up on my dispatcher's computer screen. When they see that they start calling for me over the radio. They ask if I'm okay, and tell me I pushed my emergency button on my MDC.

If you are an applicant for a job as a police officer with my agency, it is a good bet you will be assigned to me as a ride-along. They like to put people with me because I have a good attitude about my department, and about most riders.

When I am out of my car on a domestic violence detail, and you are waiting in the car, and dispatch says I hit my 11-99 button on my MDC, it is a pretty safe bet that you pushed the button. Considering the fact that it would be physically impossible for me to push that button from inside a third floor apartment 150 feet away, and the MDC Gnomes do not regularly visit my assigned patrol vehicle, it must have been you.

Therefore, when I finally come back to the car and ask you why you pushed that big red button, don't lie. I already know. Just tell me why you pushed it. Were you curious about what it did? Did you want to see if it worked the ejection seat? Did you think it was the games button? Whatever the reason, just own up to it. But don't lie and say you didn't do it.

Lying is a sure fire way to get yourself a quick trip back to the station and out of my car. It's also a pretty safe bet you won't be getting any offers of employment from my agency.

Don't ask how I know this...

(On a separate and completely unrelated note, I now tell all ride-alongs what the big red button is for, and NOT TO PUSH IT unless I am in a fight and losing. There's no special reason I tell them this. Just because.)

12 comments:

Leslie said...

Who the hell would be dumb enough to push that button and then lie about it?!? Geez!!! Yeah, I would definitely place my money on him NOT getting a job with your department!

Scottish not English said...

Wow... you bagged a real genius. Poor guy didn't understand that liars don't make good cops... oh well. At least your department found out about his little personality quirk before they hired him.

Me said...

That's ok...My department will hire that person and fast-track them right up into a white-shirt position. We obviously love lying incompetent boobs in our supervisory slots because that's about the only people who get them.

5150Wife said...

Wow. That's some nice machinery y'all got there. We don't have anything nice as MDC's, much less shiny red buttons.

When I went on a ride-along with my JD,though, he did show me the "special" button to release his AR...just in case. Does that count?

5150Wife said...

Oh crap. I just re-read what I wrote and realized how bad it sounds.

It really is a button. Concealed. In the patrol car. To release his AR15. And he showed it to me in case all hell should break loose or something. All the cars have 'em. But they aren't all in the same spot.

Oh never mind. This is not helping. I'm shutting up.

*Goddess* said...

Another good reason I'm not a cop. Just having someone tell me not to would make me want to do it even more...lol!

Sandra G. said...

Too funny - I can imagine the innocent deer-in-the-headlights-look your ridealong must have given you.

And to 5150Wife - you're hilarious!

TheBronze said...

Nice MP5-40!

Officer "Smith" said...

5150Wife - No worries. I showed Mrs. Smith my special button too. In the patrol car. For releasing the AR-15. Everyone else needs to get their minds out of the gutter. I don't do the ODB thing.

powdergirl said...

I can see how pushing the button would be pretty tempting, it is kinda bright and shiny.
Lying about it to the principle operator of the vehicle?
That seems kind of stupid.

The Dispatcher and Her Officer said...

Ours is on the touch screen.. right next to the in service button. Ya.. One road bump, a slip of the finger and all hell breaks loose!!
-Dispatcher

The Bus Driver said...

one day i'd love to go on a police ride along. of course i;d keep my hands to myself and shut up and let the nice police officer do his/her job :)