Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Some Interesting Things I've Found During Consensual Searches...

For those who don't know, a consensual search is when I ask "Do you mind if I make sure you don't have anything on you you're not supposed to have", and you reply with "Naw man. Go ahead."

I have found:

Loaded magazines


A butcher knife



Pints of Vodka, usally Tikka brand, in various states of consumption

A used condom (Eeeew. Thank God I was wearing gloves.)

Razor blades


Uncapped syringes

Shuriken (Ninja stars)

$28,462 in cash

A police badge (that didn't belong to the person being searched)

Pepper spray

Crack pipes

Crank pipes



"Ninja rocks" (a small chunk from the porcelain part of a spark plug, commonly used for auto burglary)

Unknown sticky substances (again, thank God for gloves)

A smashed beer can

Broken glass

Shaved keys (another burglary tool)

A kazoo

I don't have to make this stuff up...


Silje said...

Just wondering, what would you do if the person said that they didnt want you to search their car? Is there any way that you can search it anyway?

And why are people stupid enough to carry that stuff in their car. If i had it I would hide it somewhere safe, and if I had it in my car I would make sure there was no reason to stop me.

Murphy said...

28K+? Dang, how much was it originally?

I kid, of course, but on reading the rest of the list, hell, I'd be tempted to double up on gloves and used tongs to operate the remote controlled robot...

Me said...

Damn...And I thought that it was just our local mutts who were that stupid.

My best take on a consent search was two zips of weed, two knives, a can of pepper spray, a small ASP and a pistol, all in the pockets of the same guy--a guy who gave consent.

When I asked why, he said "Well I was hoping that you'd decide not to, and then I was hoping that you'd miss that stuff."

*Goddess* said...

Huh. Weird. You found $28,462 in cash? Cuz I just recently lost $28,462.

Too bad you don't have a job with the border patrol guys. One officer said he routinely finds things like sex toys and blow up dolls:) You and the Mrs. could replenish your "toy box" for free...lol!

Sean said...

I can add sex toys to the list as well.... something I would have never expected a guy to carry in his glove compartment.

and every search warrant on a house you are guaranteed to find porn & sex toys as well.

The Bus Driver said...

i want to know wtf is up with a KAZOO?!

Officer "Smith" said...

Silje - These were all things I have found during consent searches of PEOPLE, not cars.

As for how to search a car without consent, I can usually find some probable cause to search. If not, they get away with whatever they have. Until next time anyway.

Leslie said...

Funny thing is, they actually submit to these searches KNOWING they have this stuff in their car! And then when questioned about it, they usually reply with, "Man, that ain't mine! I ain't got no clue how it got in there but it ain't mine!" Yeah. Likely excuse.

Mad Jack said...

Man, that ain't mine!

Oh, okay... well, if it isn't yours then you can just be on your way.

You know, I really don't think most criminals are all that smart. In fact, the vast majority aren't that smart.

Many years ago, around 1971 or so, I was pulled over for a non-violation. The officer assured me that there was no traffic violation "if that's what you're worried about" which was a big relief to me. Evidently it showed, because the officer then explained that a few of the local businesses in the area had been targeted by vandals with a BB gun, and he saw me pulling out of a closed gas station. I explained I was turning around and offered to let him look inside my car. He declined.

Now, I knew the owners of that station real well and liked them, so I was glad to see the police were doing something about the vandalism (which I knew nothing about).

I wonder if the officer had probable cause to pull me over?

Mad Jack said...

And, while I'm at it:

How do you use ninja rocks? How do you use a shaved key, and what is it?

Beat And Release said...

Ninja Rocks are bad*ss. We spent half a day tossing those things during a crime scene reconstruction class in Miami.

I had one vehicle search that produced a Hustler mag, an industrial size bottle of baby oil, a 5 foot tall woman and 6'6" 300 pound man, both drunk and talking about how good the anal was. The things people will do when the lights are out due to a hurricane. And the car was stolen from N. Carolina :)

Anonymous said...

"These ain't my pants! They my cousin Pookie pants!" Geniuses. Like the kazoo, though.

Berserk said...

Mad Jack: You only have to develop reasonable suspicion to stop a car.

Beat and Release: Ninja rocks badass? I've always thought those things are stupid. Maybe they're nice for thugs, but I already carry plenty of tools on my person which are perfectly capable of breaking glass.

Gigi said...

I love the last one..a kazoo!!

Grover said...

But you forgot the most important part. 99% of them were found in crown royal bags right :)

Anonymous said...

Tell us... did he say the money wasn't his??

I could buy an awful lot of shoes with that money!

Officer "Smith" said...

No, he didn't say the money wasn't his. WE said it wasn't his because he had it in his pocket after getting arrested for a check fraud...