Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Does a Bear Crap in the Woods?

Well, if he does, he does so quietly.

Time was, you could go out into the deep dark woods and get away from it all. Even if you chose to go to a semi-prepared campground you knew you'd be around others who were there for the quiet.

The last few times we have gone camping, there has always been at least one group of loud-mouthed assholes in the campground, who insist upon drinking and yelling until oh God thirty in the morning.

Then there are those folks (who are often the same ones who like to drink and yell) who take their "ski" boat out onto the lake with it's unmuffled 454 Chevy blatting away. You can hear the engine, and usually their music, from five miles down the lake. They tool around spewing wake hither and yon, completely disregarding swimmers, kyakers, fishermen and those in smaller boats.

It's getting to the point that I have to contain myself not to go raise hell with those idiots and lower myself to their level.

Well, this last time we went camping, I was fed up. When we left on the last morning, I was tempted to go over to their tents and bang on a skillet, but I refrained. I wrote them a note instead. It said:

Hi Folks,

I hope y'all are not too hung over. I mean, what better way to celebrate a 40th birthday than to drain a suitcase of Coor's Light and bellow loudly enough to keep your neighbors awake until Oh God Thirty in the morning. I'm not sure if you're affiliated with the other loud-mouths over in #19, who were coincidentally bellowing just like you guys, only until 2:30AM, but if you aren't you should be. I'm sure y'all would get along just fine.

In closing, I hope the birthday boy/girl enjoyed his/her birthday. None of the other campers within a 1000 yard radius did.


I guess it's just another sign of the times. People don't give a shit about anyone other than themselves.

Maybe we SHOULD move to Alaska...


Front Porch Society said...

You would love Alaska. :) There is plenty of space for the peace and quiet you are seeking. One could literally be out in the wildnerness and never see another human being ever.

911 and the Randomness.. said...

Love the note, I will be doing the same thing in the future! Thank!!

Damsel Underdressed said...

Hmm...my guess would be that you lost them at the word "bellow."

You have to dumb it down for those kind.

Anonymous said...

Hubs had to deal with campers like this recently. The were doing burnouts with a motorcycle (is that the right term?) in the middle of the night/wee hours. A mom with sleeping (not anymore) babies went over and it got so heated she ended up throwing something. Not the right response but understandable.

Anonymous said...

Oh!!! We agree!! nothing more disturbing then being on a beach or moutains and hearing everything about the family next to you! or even down the campground from you!

And I was taught to whisper out in the woods.. Sigh

Alex said...

Luckily, I imagine the rising gas prices will begin to put a crimp in the ski boat / jetski industry. At least in national parks there are generally some limitations on usage.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Since the statute of limitations has long since expired, this story can be told. Water skiing group, un muffled engine, early morning hours so they could ski while the water was "flat". They came back to find all door locks on all vehicles filled with epoxy.

Perpetrators unknown.

The Pup said...

Much nicer than what I would have written, myself, but then again, I don't put up with 'kiddies' like that very well. I still don't understand what enjoyment anyone gets out of being loud and obnoxious and so drunk that the next morning no amount of campfire coffee can cure the hangover. Despite my pathetically young age, I've never enjoyed such pastimes.

Up north, the camping is beautiful and serene. I've lived about 600km south of Alaska (mid-BC, Canada), and going camping was quite an experience. Then again...bring a rifle and a good dose of bear spray, because those bears may be 'crapping' right beside your tent.

Dave said...

Makes me want to bring a few high-powered spotlights and just light them up until they quiet down.

Unfortunately, it's usually just me, my wife, and our two kids - not the ideal group for something like that.

However, if it was 3 or 4 friends, that would be a different story.

Mad Jack said...

So why did you fail to pepper spray these clowns first thing in the morning?

I hate that kind of behavior. I go out into the wilderness for silence. I despise motorized traffic and the racket it makes, mainly because I know the vehicle doesn't have to be that loud - but Mr. Big Deal has to pull the muffler off his 454 because his hillbilly brother said it would go faster. Now the boat has to be tested to see if it really does go faster or if BillyRayBob is full of beans.

Nice note, by the way.

Roanoke Cop said...

I have been sorely tempted to move to Alaska as well. I've visited once and it was very beautiful. And barely populated. The longer I've been on the job, the less I like humanity. There's nothing in the world like peace and quiet on days off.

Kojak said...

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CoalDust said...

I agree, think it is terrible to go to a public campground and have to deal with ***holes like this. I showed up once just before dark a few years ago, and pitched a tent. I was exhausted. Campers about 25 yards away were drinking, and laughing loudly. About 1 am, they started chopping wood for the campfire. Are you serious?? Of course, If I would have nicely went over and suggested they keep it down, WWIII would have ensued, and I'd been arrested for causing the trouble. I bought my own land deep in WV to camp on, no neighbors. Now I only have to deal with the occasional people running ATV's at wide open throttle at 0100 on the dirt roads. (no kidding)

londoninflames said...

Despite being a scruffy anarchist, I am also a great believer in good manners. I have also, almost certainly, been one of the tools making loads of noise in a campsite. So when it happens to me, I think about where my head is when it's me making the noise, and pick one of two choices. either a) I suck it up and accept that people have different standards and requirements at places like campsites; or b) I wander over there and ask them to shut up. Some people (including myself) would be mortified to be reminded that their behaviour impacts upon others and shut up accordingly! Acceptance or action are the only two ways not to get bitter about things like this.

Officer "Smith" said...


I couldn't agree more!

Usually ACTION is the approach we take.

Unfortunately the folks who are the loudest, are usually the ones who could give two shits about how much they bother others around them.