Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Find Anything Good in There?

If picking one's nose was illegal, I'd easily write a hundred tickets a day.

Gross, yes, but there is a point.

Whilst sitting at one of my favorite duck ponds this morning looking for the standard cell phone, seatbelt or headphone violations, I began the time honored practice of people watching.

Drivers seem to fall into their own little world when they are safely ensconced in their conveyances. I see drivers picking their teeth, picking their noses, popping zits and all other manner of disgustingness as they travel the roadways of Smithville.

It seems as if people forget that their windows not only allow them to see out, but they also allow others to see IN. Do folks really think nobody's looking while they're stuffing a digit so far into a nostril they are in danger of extracting brain cells?

Then there are the "Karaoke drivers". You know who I'm talking about. These are the roadway rock stars who belt out their favorite song along with the radio, usually off key, and almost always with sufficient emotion to shake their car at a stoplight.

Next time you hear "bump" coming from the car next door, look over. You may see the hand bouncing back and forth while "Run GMC" tries to emulate his favorite rapper. Or it could be "Mariah Car-ey" trying to hit Mariah Carey's impossible notes and causing every dog in the hood to howl.

I see people holding a burger in one hand and a drink in the other while steering with their knee. I see people shaving, putting on makeup and reading the newspaper, sometimes all at once.

It's really amazing how people do things in their car surrounded by total strangers they would think twice about doing in the company of friends. If you don't people watch, you should.

Free entertainment doesn't get much better...


Jackie said...

Oh lord... My parents are "Karaoke drivers" amusing for someone watching yes...

As long as i'm not in the back seat trying to hide and make sure no one sees me...


Katherine said...

People watching is a great hobby of mine, specifically because I have a background in Sociology. Human behavior at it's finest! Although I'm not eloquent enough to blog about it, thankfully you ARE and can share! Amazing isn't it? Keep the observations coming!!!

Sondra said...

I love singing along with the radio in the car -- it distracts me from all the morons out there!

Mad Jack said...

I've always wondered if it was legal to eat and drive with your knees. I've never done it nor have I really ever been tempted to try, as it doesn't look too safe to me. Can you bust 'em for eating and driving?

DJMooreTX said...

Why, yes, I often do, and it's juicy and delicious!

I used to worry about this, and then I realized I rarely see what other people are doing in their cars; I'm too busy watching the traffic and paying attention to my own driving. (When I do notice, it's almost always cell phone use. Somehow I've developed a filter for that, like the one I have for poison ivy.) I only care about the two-ton chunks of steel hurtling around me.

And as I suggested up top, I do it too. I think most everybody does.

Finally, I just don't care. I will likely never be seen by any of these people ever again, nor would I recognize them if I met them later.

We're all human. We all do undignified stuff. As the kid's book title says, "Everybody poops."

Officer "Smith" said...

Mad Jack,

No, it's not specifically illegal, but it usually fits some other more general section.


My kids love that book. Have you seen "The Gas we Pass"?

Moose said...

I love to sing along loudly with music while driving. I really could care less what other drivers think. :-)

HonkingAntelope said...

You've pretty much nailed the main reason why most people will resist taking public transportation (aka the cattle car) for as long as possible.

Some semblance of privacy alone is worth the cost of driving by yourself, not to mention being far more convenient, too.

tired.dispatcher said...

I am a karaoke driver too Jackie. Sing at the top of my lungs. Or argue with the talk show host. Imagine I too am entertaining the officer sitting and waiting for the next traffic violation.

Dexter said...

Here in Washington, I see lots of people texting / working the BlackBerry while driving.