Friday, July 30, 2010

Know When To Say Nothing...

On days I have traffic court, such as today, I can be found standing in the hallway outside the courtroom with all the other cops and all the defendants waiting for the doors to open. Much as I am right now.

This morning, the line for the court clerk's office is unusually long.

A guy has been standing in the same place, right in front of me as it happens, for about five minutes. After listening to us jaw-jack about the things we wrote our respective defendants for, he decided to mad-dog me and say "This line is too long. Y'all need to stop writing all them tickets."

Well, those who know me will know I just couldn't help myself. I had to inquire, "What's yours for?"

"Speeding."

Oh. Well how about this. Y'all stop speeding, and we'll stop writing all them tickets.

Do people really think we write tickets just to be writing them? Just to make folks stand in line down at the courthouse? Just because I want to practice my block capital letter printing? Really?

Did it ever occur to you that we maybe "write all them tickets" because jack-holes such as yourself lack the aptitude and/or sound judgment to operate a motor vehicle (or bicycle for that matter) safely without being admonished constantly by us?

Probably not, or you wouldn't be standing there in line right now...

Now if you'll pardon me, I gotta go to court...

7 comments:

Texas Ghostrider said...

The guilty a-holes always gravitate towards the police uniform. That is one reason why they are always in trouble. They think the are smarter but all they are, are smart a$$es

HonkingAntelope said...

"Did it ever occur to you that we maybe "write all them tickets" because jack-holes such as yourself lack the aptitude and/or sound judgment to operate a motor vehicle (or bicycle for that matter) safely without being admonished constantly by us?"

I would add "you also failed to maintain proper situational awareness, and probably flunked the attitude test, too."

Part of driving safely is paying attention at all times. Cops are not that hard to spot, even in the dark. The fact that a vehicle operator didn't see the cop before it was too late implies that the operator wasn't paying half the attention he/she should have been!

The adventures of Leia said...

ya- I totally agree with you! I like police men, they always spread a smile on my face- one day I want to interview an officer...my knees always goes weak when i see one...

Mad Jack said...

No, I don't think you just like to write. I think you write these traffic tickets because at the time of the writing you haven't thought about all the time you'll have to spend standing in line at the court. If you had, you might not write the ticket. See?

What I really don't understand is why you aren't around to write tickets to all the lawbreakers who run the stop sign at the end of my street. Which happened once, but no more. The police had two cruisers hidden down the block and one cop hiding behind some trees in a neighbor's yard with a radar gun. He'd shoot the cars as they came speeding down the road and then watch as they ran the stop sign. The others got to do the fun part and write the tickets. The dog and I got to watch. Pedestrian traffic and people living nearby would walk over and ask if the police needed anything, like food, water, lemonade, free lunch, whatever. Then the police would get congratulated on doing a great job and thanked.

I also got to see the 'halo effect' in person. I was walking the dog and stopped to talk to one of the police waiting in his car down the block, and he pointed out how all the cars slowed down as soon as they saw him and were careful to obey the traffic laws. He was right.

Cleanville Tziabatz said...

stop giving "professional courtesy" and we will start taking u srsly on this sort of thing. Til then, whatevs.

horsndogluvr said...

Oh, yeah. I had 4 moving violations before I was 27. I've had exactly one in the 31 years since. No at-fault accidents, either. It's just amazing how hassle-free life is when I just... obey the law! And you can tell those folks in line that I said so.

Thanks, Officer "Smith" and your cohorts, for protecting me against all those crazy drivers - even when I'm one of them.

Marjorie said...

Well, how inconsiderate of you, causing all that inconvenience by writing all those tickets. Anyone would think that speeding was against the law or something!

...oh, wait...