Thursday, December 22, 2011

Eleven Rules Your Kids Will Not Learn in School...

Rule #1

Life is not fair - Get used to it!

Rule #2

The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before it will let you feel good about yourself.

Rule #3

You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a company car until you EARN both.

Rule #4

If you think your teachers and your parents are tough, wait 'til you get a BOSS.

Rule #5

Flipping burgers is NOT beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for flipping burgers. They called it OPPORTUNITY.

Rule #6

If you screw up, it is NOT your parents' fault. So don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule #7

Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying YOUR bills, cleaning YOUR clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So, before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule #8

Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they will give you as many tries as you want to get the right answer. Keep in mind that this does not bear the SLIGHTEST resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule #9

Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you "find yourself". Do that on your own time.

Rule #10

Television is NOT REAL LIFE. In real life people actually have to leave the bar or the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule #11

Be nice to nerds. Chances are, you'll end up working for one.

4 comments:

Brett Allen said...

<3 Rule #11

We also decide whose job to automate away first!

Fortunately for Officer Smith, I don't think -anyone- wants to see a computer with a gun, so his job ain't going away any time soon.

Automated sentry turrets with facial recognition have been made out of nerf guns already though!

Gator Girl Tales said...

If only kids could learn these lessons......

Jake said...

Some good lessons, but I'm not sure how many kids are vying for that "car phone!"

Officer "Smith" said...

Too right Jake. I meant to make that a company car. It's been amended.