Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Pinching Pennies...

On a recent trip to our friendly neighborhood traffic court, I overheard a defendant say to the commissioner "I was hoping, since this is my first offense, the fine could be lowered."

Funny thing is, the fine for a first offense IS lower than for subsequent offenses.

I guess it's your lucky day...

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Any Questions?

There seems to be a disconnect in the brains of people who come into our traffic court.  They don't seem to understand the difference between a question and a statement.

When the commissioner asks "Do you have questions of the officer?", almost every defendant, every day starts out with something similar to "Yes.  So, what had happened was, there I was, driving along and minding my own business....."

It's basic English folks.  Questions begin with who, what, where, why, how, is it true that, etc...

If you have no questions, simply say "No, I don't have any questions, I'd just like to tell my side of the story."

It's really not rocket surgery...

Friday, October 31, 2014

Hats & Bats...

Hats and Bats. That's one way to say we're gearing up for crowd control. We're getting our riot helmets and our riot batons out and getting ready for a scrum.

So it was funny last Halloween when I looked at Mrs. Smith's ears and saw her Halloween ear rings. She was wearing little googly eyed bats and little witch hats.

Hats & Bats.

Awesome...

I miss you, my dearest.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Blue Widow(er)...

I'm a widower.

Wait, what?

The past three weeks have seen quite the transition in my life.  Lots of things have been rolling around in my head, and I've had to come to terms with some new things.  Lots of new questions, and not many answers.

I find myself wondering about things most people don't have to consider.  Then I find I don't know the answers.  I don't even know if there is a right or wrong answer.

My wife is physically gone from my life.  All I have left is her pictures, her memories, and the box of ashes that sits on my bookshelf for the moment.  In time, that too will be gone.  Her wish was to be scattered at sea, and I intend to honor that wish.

I continue to wear my wedding ring, and I still feel married.  I did not divorce my wife.  I did not leave my wife and she did not leave me.  She died, we are not unmarried.  So now, what is appropriate?

How long should I wear my ring?  Forever?  A year?  More?  Less?  There is not one right answer, and I know the best answer is that I will know when it's time.  But will it ever be time?

I still refer to her as my wife, and for the same reasons.  Our relationship was stronger than ever when she passed, and I don't feel like I'm any less married.  What now?  She's not my ex-wife.  I hate hearing "my late wife".  She's not late, she's gone.  My dead wife sounds even worse.  I have yet to find any term I feel is appropriate, other than "my wife".

Please understand, dear readers, that I am not looking for advice here.  I know only I can find the answers to these questions.  I am merely voicing my thoughts here to give a bit of insight to those of you who have never had a spouse pass away.

I would not wish this upon my worst enemy...

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Of Men and Boys...

A man doesn't run away when he hears the words "stage IV cancer".

A man is not afraid to wear pink.

A man will hold his wife's purse and doesn't give a tinker's damn what anybody else thinks.

A man will hold his wife's hair while she pukes her guts up.

A man will brush her hair to make her feel better after puking.

A man will love her even when all her hair falls out.

I have heard of many "men" recently who have left their significant other when faced with her cancer diagnosis, and I just don't get it.  How can you claim to love someone, then leave when she is facing the most difficult time of her life?

Yes, it IS difficult to live with someone who is dealing with cancer, chemotherapy, pain, nausea and myriad other health effects all day, every day.  But that's what you signed up for when you said "I do".

And don't give me the line about "I wouldn't expect her to hang around if I had cancer."

Bullshit.

If you can't be troubled to comfort your wife and support her through her treatment until she is either healthy again, or God forbid, gone...

You are not allowed to call yourself a man.

Man card revoked...

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

The Post I Don't Want to Write...



I am not ready to write this.

I will never be ready.

On September 30th, my lovely Mrs. Smith was taken forcibly from me by the cancer that had invaded her body at intervals during the past three plus years.

I hate cancer.  Cancer is an evil that comes from within. 

Mrs. Smith fought valiantly, even when she was tired of fighting.  She was determined to not let it get her.  She kept her chin up, and her shoulders squared.  She fought right up to her final breath.

I have seen dead and dying people before, and death does not bother me. 

But to be there with her...

To have her look deeply into my eyes, become calm and peaceful, and take her final breath while I knelt at her bedside and held her hand...

To know I was the last thing she saw in this life...

I ache to have her back, to hold her and feel her warmth, to feel her lips against mine...

But I know it can never be.

I mourn for her every minute of every day.

My light has been extinguished.

Normal is gone.

Now I must rally with my family and my boys, and we must build a new normal.  We must move forward with our lives.  To fail to do so would be a dishonor to the memory of the mother, sister and wife who meant so much to us all.

I cannot say she is in a better place, because the best of all places is here at home with her family.  I must take comfort in the knowledge she is no longer in the constant pain that has wracked her body for several years.

I am grateful for the memories.

I have no doubt she knew exactly how I felt about her.  Nothing was ever left unsaid between us.

She will own my heart for eternity.  It is broken, but it will heal.

If there is anything after this life, I hope she finds a warm place to dive and saves a tank for me. It will be a while, but I'll join her there eventually.

Rest easy, love.

You have found peace.

We'll handle it from here...

Thursday, October 2, 2014

No Class...

I had to go to our local high school recently for a fight call. While we were all sitting on the school after the fight to ensure the standard follow-up fights didn't happen, a homeboy walked out of the school, looked at the police cars and laughed.

Six cop cars in front of your high school is really funny isn't it. Certainly it is not a reflection on the shitty students who are bussed in to "attend" your school.

Oh, wait....

You're one of them.

That's right...