Sunday, August 31, 2014

Liar, Liar, Pants on... Wait, I Think I Already Used That Title...

It would appear that I have neglected my poor blog since before Christmas.  I suppose that would be what happens when I'm paying attention to other aspects of life.

Anywho, let's talk about a scenario.  This is all purely hypothetical, I assure you.

So, let's say, for instance, that you are driving your car on a public roadway in the "wonderful" State of California.  Let's also, still hypothetically of course, say you happen to have your cell phone in your hand, and you're tapping frantically at the screen.

Are you with me so far?

Now, let's imagine that a local copper rides up to the right side of your car and watches through your right rear window, from about 7 feet away (give or take a foot or two), as you continue to tap merrily away on the cell phone screen.  The officer can clearly see the keyboard you are tapping on.  In fact, from that distance the officer can actually see the characters appearing on the screen as you type.

Suppose, now, that the officer watches as you tap approximately 150 characters into your phone.

When the officer pulls you over and explains that he is stopping you for a violation of the texting law because he just sat seven feet away from your driver seat and watched you tap a hundred plus times on your cell phone keyboard, why should it even occur to you that it would be a good idea to lie about it and say "I was only checking the time.  I'm late for work"?

Also, why would you think the officer should not have been looking in your window to see the violation in the first place?

I'm thoroughly confused, hypothetically of course.



Saturday, December 14, 2013

Blah, Blah, Blah...

Just a quick note to the fuck-knuckle I stopped for speeding today...

You can tell me you hope bad things befall me.  You can call me all the names you want.  That is a wonderful aspect of our United States Constitution.  It allows you to be as big of a loud-mouthed asshole as you choose to be.  As long as you don't make threats or try to incite a fight, you can talk all damned day.

The key here is, if I can't convince you intellectually to accept responsibility for your mistake, whether because you choose not to or you're unable, I will see to it that you take fiscal responsibility.

Either way, you're going to have to deal with your error.

I couldn't care less what nastiness you fling at me...

Friday, December 6, 2013

Keep Your Hands out of Your Pockets...

I don't understand why people get so bent out of shape when I ask them to keep their hands out of their pockets.

I always get responses like "I ain't got nothin'", "Why?" or "Whatchu think I'm gonna do?"

I don't ask folks to keep their hands out of their pockets just for shits and giggles. I ask it because I haven't searched them and have no idea what they may have in their pockets.  I ask this simple task for my safety and theirs.

I don't ask some people and not others. I ask everyone to keep their hands out of their pockets until I have at least patted them down. I don't care if you're wearing your baggy jeans down around your ass, or you're wearing a three piece suit.

I know not who you are, what you're thinking or what you're capable of.  Therefore, I ask you to...

Keep your damned hands out of your pockets...

Friday, November 29, 2013

On Life...

I know I am fortunate to have the things I do.  I have my wife and my family.  I have a roof over my head, and food on my table.  I am able to clothe my kids.  I have the job I always wanted.  I am living the dream.

Even though I ramble on about how people irk me by their ignorance, I am not a negative person.  Even though I sound like a grouch on this blog, that is not the only side of me.  It's just the side of me that tends to come out here.

So, don't think you know me just by what you read here.  This is only one small part of my life.  Remember that before you comment negatively on any of my posts.  Remember that before you make assumptions about me.

This blog does not define my life.

I appreciate those of you who have bothered to read this blog for as long as you have, and I hope you will continue to read even though my writings have become a little, how you say, "infrequent".

For those of you I have had the privilege of meeting in real life, I am grateful.  To those I have "met" only on Facebook or through email, I look forward to actually meeting face to face someday.  You know who you are.

To those who have found my writings insulting, irrelevant or otherwise useless, well, you're probably not reading this now, are you.  That's your loss.

Above all, I ask you to keep an open mind.  Always seek knowledge and new challenges.  If you see something that you disagree with (be it here or anywhere else), ask about it.  Discuss it.  Research it.  Don't just dismiss it as bullshit because you don't agree.   Learn from it.

Be good to each other.  Even though I deal with the dregs of society, I know people, in general, are mostly good, upstanding, law abiding folks.  I recognize that.  I know it's only a very vocal few who screw things up for the rest of us.

Enjoy life.  Relish it.  Live it to it's fullest.

You never know when it might leave you...

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

On Retirement...

It really frosts me when people attack my retirement system.  Just because not everyone has as good of a retirement system as we do, it does not mean we are crooks, thieves, greedy or any of the other derogatory terms people throw around to describe public servants.

We do a job most people are unable or unwilling to do, and we make far less than folks who sit behind a desk all day in those glass towers in the big city.  We work our asses off to protect you, the citizens of our jurisdictions.  We go out every day and put ourselves in harms way to do things the members of the common populace are unable or unwilling to do for themselves.  We do jobs most do not want to do.

We ride around with a big target on our backs simply because of the badge on our chest.  We are automatically a target to some, because we have sworn to protect the many.  We have to deal on a daily basis with people "motherfucking" us because they are not happy with what we're telling them, and we have to do so without ripping their heads off.  We go into the messy crime scenes that would make most people puke.

I am DAMNED thankful for the paycheck I get every two weeks, and the health coverage I have because I could be bothered to take on full-time, gainful employment.

If we are fortunate enough to make it to retirement age, we have earned every red cent of what we get.  If you want to attack someone for their retirement system, why not start with your legislators or the top executives who get bonuses even when their company burns down a neighborhood.

Leave my retirement out of it...

Friday, November 22, 2013

On Cancer...

Cancer sucks.

Cancer is not something you ever want to become a part of your life, whether it affects you directly or someone you care deeply about.

My life has been a journey these past few years since Mrs. Smith was diagnosed.  In some ways it has made me better.  In some ways it has made me bitter.

I live with the constant possibility that the love of my life could be gone at any time.  I feel incredibly lucky that she is still in reasonably good health despite the cancer treatments, and despite the cancer cells that will always be in her body.

I also feel angry that this THING could easily take her from me.  Something microscopic.  Something I can't see, and something I am powerless to combat.  I can protect her against almost anything.  But not this.

It is not an easy thing to make me feel useless.  But cancer does it.

I find myself hoping for that miracle cure, and hoping it does not come after she's gone.

The disease has changed the way I feel about a lot of things. Some songs that used to not carry any significance for me will now cause me to tear up when I hear them. Some pictures that never held any specific symbolism for me "before cancer" now have a much deeper meaning.

It has also changed the way I deal with other people. I find that I have a lot less tolerance for stupidity than I used to. I know, I never really had a high tolerance for stupidity to begin with, but it's even slimmer now. I find myself holding my tongue less and speaking my mind more, often when I should just keep my mouth shut.

I would not wish cancer upon my worst enemy.

Cancer sucks!

Friday, November 15, 2013

On Religion...

I grew up as a church going, non-denominational protestant.  I went to church every Sunday with my grandparents.  I don't go to church now.  I haven't gone in twenty plus years.

Does that make me a bad person?  Am I going to Hell because of it?  I don't think so.

Do I still believe in God?  Maybe.  Do I believe there is a higher being who created us all and everything around us?  I have no way of knowing that for certain.  Have I seen things that made me wonder?  Of course.  Am I going to take a chance that there is not a God, and live as if I will never be judged?  Not on your life.

I try to be the best person I can be.  In both my personal and professional life I try to treat others with respect and dignity, even if they cannot be troubled to return the favor.  I don't steal, I don't murder, I try not to lie.  I cuss like a sailor sometimes, but I feel bad about it sometimes too.

I believe if there really is a God, and he or she is as benevolent as nearly every religious book makes Him or Her out to be, then I will be judged based upon how I lived my life.  If the simple fact that I have chosen not to strictly follow any particular established religion, or live by any particular book means I am condemned to Hell, Purgatory, or whatever other damned place you might believe in, then I guess I'm screwed.

I'd like to believe that would not be the determining factor though.

There are so many different religions, and even different groups within religions, who believe that their interpretation of a book is the only way, and who believe that we should all be good to each other and treat each other as equals, unless of course we are gay, non-believers, or otherwise in conflict with what the chosen book says, that I wouldn't know how to choose one religion over another.

Every religion I have ever encountered preaches love and hate at the same time.  Love everyone, as long as they subscribe to the same beliefs as you.  If they don't, stone them, or behead them, or burn them.  Then, forgive them.  Just don't murder them.  But treat them as you would be treated.  Ummm, yeah.

We really don't know what awaits us when this life ends.  Does our spirit go to some higher place and go on eternally?  Do we come back here as something else?  Do we simply cease to exist?  I don't know.

I think I'll just stick with Smithism.  I don't expect anyone to follow me.

...and I won't pull an L. Ron Hubbard on you, I promise...