5! 4! 3! 2! DUCK!!!!

Ahhh yes. The New Year is nigh upon us again. A time of festivities, fun, alcohol, fireworks..... and gunfire. Yes, around these parts the not so smart ones believe a handgun, or even in some cases a rifle, are acceptable substitutes for fireworks. I am fortunate this year. It is one of those rare occasions... I don't have to work tonight.

When I work on New Year's eve, there is a regular tradition. All of the officers in the area can be found from about fifteen minutes before midnight, until about fifteen minutes after midnight, on the bottom floor of the nearest concrete parking garage. If you need a cop, that's where we'll be.

Our neighboring cities seem to have some residents who never paid attention when they were studying physics. Or maybe they just didn't go to school at all because they spent too much time smoking weed and hanging with their homies. I don't know for sure.

Anyway, those of us who understand the basic laws of nature know that what goes up, must at some point come back down. If that something happens to be a bullet, it seems that they always come down on a vehicle or house. Every year we hear of injuries from these ignorant bastards.

In a perfect world, the bullets would come straight back down upon those stupid enough to fire them. How sweet would that be? I can see the headline now, "Man Kills Self With Celebratory Bullet".

You! Out of the gene pool!